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I am trying to get my son home. I am keeping names private because of my own reasons.

I married at an early age to a very dangerous man that was associated with organized crime. I thought that I had everything, but it occurred with a price. I was no longer able to live freely, I disconnected from my friends and beaten often. I was threatened that my family would be injured if I did.

A couple years passed. He went on the straight and narrow, but was still very abusive. I became pregnant, and the thought of having a son gave me hope that we could be saved. My son was beautiful, I loved him very much. It quickly became apparent that he was HIS son, not mine. My breaking point was when my 2 year old hugged me and asked if "daddy hit me again."

I became very suicidal and depressed. I tried to pull myself together but couldn't. As I took him to court, I had no money for a lawyer, I was a college student and a mom. Everything was done pro se. We both fought against eachother until the judge ordered us to mediate or our son would go into foster care. I selflessly signed him over, for I had no where to live and my family had passed by now so I no longer had support.

This is where I lost it. I was scared and alone. Living on couches and in shelters. I always worked but I never kept a job. It often resulted in episodes of me breaking down and ending up in hospitals. I quickly was diagnosed with Bipolar, Borderline and PTSD disorder.

By this time, my ex had taken my son out of state without notifying anybody. Ive seen my son once in 4 years. He took him out of school and tried to keep my sons whereabouts from me. I talked to my son as much as I could, but he was already alienated from me.

Now that I'm properly medicated and have found self worth, I am preparing everything to get him back. I am stronger now, I have confidence and support. I'm not afraid anymore! This year Ive been battling with lupus problems. Trying to find the right doctors and right treatments. Trying not to wake up everyday in pain and take as little medication as possible.

My lupus has temporarily affected my ability to work and I'm undergoing several Dr. appointments. So everything helps! God provides, and sharing is caring! 

It would be beneficial to raise funds to get him home. There are many expenses that I am incurring. With me not being well, I am having a hard enough time getting medications. Many of the procedures that I need done are costly and I have to pay in full amount until I meet my deductible. I am soon to be applying for disability, but we all know it's a lengthy process.

My grandmother died from lupus. Its scary. The last things I want in life is to make sure I established a good relationship with him since the divorce. If you have even a dollar, out helps.

Here's to me hopefully not waking up in pain one day, and sitting in the sunshine having a pic nic with my little boy.

Thank you and God bless