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It does not make any sense.

I have not seen my son for five years. He is now 19 and still refusing to have any contact with me while my daughter, his sister, lives with me. It all started with my ex husband accusing me of cheating on him. He started divorce proceeding and began alienating my children from me slowly and methodically following his lawyer’s advice. The trial lasted three years. My husband new the judges and the rest of the officers of the court because he is a deputy sheriff in this jurisdiction. While the trial lasted, we had kids stay with me as well as my husband. When I ran out of money to pay my lawyer, I lost custody to my children. My ex was calling me a whore in front of our children.

In the end, I ended up having a very loving relationship with my daughter who lives with me. She has a great relationship with my son and my ex. My son does not want to talk or see me. It is very confusing and painful at the same time. Since my divorce, I have done well in real estate in Bay Area. I live in Tiburon with my daughter and take her to see her dad and brother to Oakland every time she wants to go there. Last time I saw my son was when I was picking my daughter up from his birthday party. He came out and saw me standing there. He looked at me and did nothing as though I was nothing to him. But I gave him birth and changed his diapers for so many years. How could this happen to me? After so much time the wound in my heart still feels fresh. And I still cry myself to sleep.

My therapist suggested grief counseling. I broke down and told her that my son is not dead. She thought it’s a good idea after so many years of emotional torment.